Thursday, April 24, 2008

[the underdescribed]

The following items have recently come to my attention. Available free are

"a broken chair"

"boat"

"couch"

No picture. No description. Three separate givers, three separate items. Joined by a common theme - they hold secrets. Secrets about what they look like, what they even are. Only possibilities. Let your imagination wander.

Is the broken chair missing a button on its tufted back, or missing two legs, torn off hastily in an attempt to defend the owner from vampires? Can it still be called a chair, or is it only "useful as an art project"*?

There are many salty dogs out there giving away free boats. Usually they need major work. Usually they are a particular kind of boat. If I'm looking for a dinghy, I'm pretty sure the remains of the retired "Princessa Elena" (ret. 1996) won't really satisfy my needs. "Boat"? Come on, typing isn't that hard.

And "Couch." I find this one particularly poignant. As readers of this space know, couches come in every terrifying color of the rainbow. They have flaws of every variety, from stains to smells to tears, to resembling thunderstorms. I love love love the idea that someone will contact this poster about this couch, without any clue as to its appearance or condition. "Well, it says 'couch,' so who knows, we need one, right?"

I am going to take a minute and go post something myself.

OK, I'm back. I just posted "Thing." Let's see what happens.



*I've recently uncovered a similar expression. If something is beyond repair and utterly useless for anything but swinging at your enemies, call it "Burning Man." Burning Man chair. Burning Man telephone. Burning Man toilet. This may only work in the Bay Area, but give it a try.

1 comment:

Tim said...

Mmmm...I'm going to start using that to refer to all the old computers and gadgets I have lying around the house and office. Maybe someone will take away my "Burning Man Pentium" or even better "Burning Man Vic-20." Soon I'll probably have a few "Burning Man VCRs."