"I have about six steel bars, pick up only. Please email to me if you are interesting."
About six. You know how we feel about that.
I can think of a lot of uses for these. Actually, I can think of none. Does that make me interesting?
Showing posts with label inability to count. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inability to count. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Steel Bars
"I have about six steel bars, pick up only. Please email to me if you are interesting."
About six. You know how we feel about that.
I can think of a lot of uses for these. Actually, I can think of none. Does that make me interesting?
Friday, September 5, 2008
Enema Kits
"Free - - - 7-8 Fleet Enema Kits. These are unopened but have passed their expiration date. They will still do the job."
Yeah, this is too easy, so I won't say too much.
Numbers. First, I am really beginning to wonder about the job our schools do. Too many people are being left behind in math class. If the Free Stuff section has taught me something, it's that any counting task above 2 is an insurmountable challenge. This happens so much, we need a new tag for it. "How many enema kits do I have? Honestly, I'm not sure. There are a few, several, some. Bring your neighborhood mathlete and maybe we can nail it down. My son was just visiting on Labor Day break from Cornell. He thinks it's 7-8. I have to take his word for it, he's a sharp kid."
Past expiration date. The manufacturer exhorts you not to use these. They have gone bad. But what the hell does the manufacturer know? Hell, they just want you to buy more enema kits. It's for your ass, not your mouth, right? Is your ass picky? I didn't think so. Asses make do. Take the enema kits.
"They will still do the job." What job is that, poster? Oh, enemizing, ass-flushing, thanks for the image. I come to the internet looking for a free couch, and I'm forced to think about enemas. The internet is dangerous.
Unopened. Thank heaven for small favors.
Yeah, this is too easy, so I won't say too much.
Numbers. First, I am really beginning to wonder about the job our schools do. Too many people are being left behind in math class. If the Free Stuff section has taught me something, it's that any counting task above 2 is an insurmountable challenge. This happens so much, we need a new tag for it. "How many enema kits do I have? Honestly, I'm not sure. There are a few, several, some. Bring your neighborhood mathlete and maybe we can nail it down. My son was just visiting on Labor Day break from Cornell. He thinks it's 7-8. I have to take his word for it, he's a sharp kid."
Past expiration date. The manufacturer exhorts you not to use these. They have gone bad. But what the hell does the manufacturer know? Hell, they just want you to buy more enema kits. It's for your ass, not your mouth, right? Is your ass picky? I didn't think so. Asses make do. Take the enema kits.
"They will still do the job." What job is that, poster? Oh, enemizing, ass-flushing, thanks for the image. I come to the internet looking for a free couch, and I'm forced to think about enemas. The internet is dangerous.
Unopened. Thank heaven for small favors.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Railroad Ties
Our Nashville correspondent refers us to:
"6 or 8 large RR ties, they are anchored with steel rods to the ground and each other so you must be able to pry them apart as well as lift them. I would say you need a good truck with a wench or something like that. Don't even think about coming by yourself. They are extremely H E A V Y. It will take two very strong people to load them. Write me with your questions and your plan."
Dear Railroad Tie Poster:
You request that I write with questions and plan. First, a comment (I know, I'm already breaking the rules). I know women who, when asked their dress size, will say "6 or 8." It's a reasonable response - different companies fit things differently, weight fluctuates, some things look better tighter or looser. In short, there are variables. There are no variables, however, in the number of railroad ties you have. Is it 6? Or 8? Or maybe 7? Just do the count.
On to questions. Why on earth would I want 6 or 8 railroad ties? Even if I did, can you imagine me wanting them enough to go through the twelve labors of Hercules you appear to be prescribing? How much do you think it would cost me to put together the team of giants and/or leverage experts required to liberate these ties?
And again, before I do anything, I would really like to have some idea of why I'm doing this. What awesome project can I do with them? Start the world's shortest railroad? Make my yard the neighborhood eyesore? Dead-end my street?
My plan - wish you luck dealing with your railroad ties yourself, request copies of the bills you incur disposing of them, just out of curiosity.
"6 or 8 large RR ties, they are anchored with steel rods to the ground and each other so you must be able to pry them apart as well as lift them. I would say you need a good truck with a wench or something like that. Don't even think about coming by yourself. They are extremely H E A V Y. It will take two very strong people to load them. Write me with your questions and your plan."
Dear Railroad Tie Poster:
You request that I write with questions and plan. First, a comment (I know, I'm already breaking the rules). I know women who, when asked their dress size, will say "6 or 8." It's a reasonable response - different companies fit things differently, weight fluctuates, some things look better tighter or looser. In short, there are variables. There are no variables, however, in the number of railroad ties you have. Is it 6? Or 8? Or maybe 7? Just do the count.
On to questions. Why on earth would I want 6 or 8 railroad ties? Even if I did, can you imagine me wanting them enough to go through the twelve labors of Hercules you appear to be prescribing? How much do you think it would cost me to put together the team of giants and/or leverage experts required to liberate these ties?
And again, before I do anything, I would really like to have some idea of why I'm doing this. What awesome project can I do with them? Start the world's shortest railroad? Make my yard the neighborhood eyesore? Dead-end my street?
My plan - wish you luck dealing with your railroad ties yourself, request copies of the bills you incur disposing of them, just out of curiosity.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
About 7 Luggage
Is this a brand or a style? "About 7"? No:
"Need repair and little bit work on them take all 7 or 8 luggage bags"
Now, I could see if there were a truckload, and the poster said "truckload." Or made some sort of estimate like "900-1000." But if you can't be bothered to count all the way to 8, I don't know why you bothered counting at all. "Some luggage. U haul. All or none."
"Need repair and little bit work on them take all 7 or 8 luggage bags"
Now, I could see if there were a truckload, and the poster said "truckload." Or made some sort of estimate like "900-1000." But if you can't be bothered to count all the way to 8, I don't know why you bothered counting at all. "Some luggage. U haul. All or none."
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