Microwave

"Does not work but if you can fix it it's yours. Or you can use it for parts."

There's been a rash of microwave postings in the Free Stuff section lately. I know I covered one just the other day, but it's all about volume here at Vintage Microwave. We're paid by the word*, so if something inspires a comment, I'm damn well commenting.

This is not just an old microwave - potentially dangerous, inherently ugly, formerly used to reheat someone else's leftovers - it's one that does not work. I refuse to believe that there is a legion of microwave oven tinkerers** who have spent years learning to cure all a microwave's micro and macro ills, but have never quite been able to afford one themselves. Training, waiting for the day someone posts the broken free microwave: "Boom! Finally! I'm scoring that baby and cooking some popcorn!" Nor do I believe there are professional microwave oven repairmen scouring the interweb for brokedown ovens, sprucing them up, and selling them for a tidy profit on eBay. In fact, what I do believe is that, in terms of desirability, a non-working microwave is really on par with the hypothetical bag of fingernail clippings mentioned in an earlier post. Unwantable, even as an "art project."

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the idea of neighborhood guys gathering around a microwave, beers in hands, showing off how they supercharged the magnatron, bragging about defrost speeds, and testing whether they can stop the pacemaker of the old guy down the street with a well-aimed ray. But that just doesn't ring true.




*No, not really. We're paid by how far we move the applause meter. What was that? There's no applause meter? Dammit!

**Cue Tim, Vintage Microwave's resident debunker: "I'm actually part of a microwave oven repair club. We meet every second Wednesday in the basement of the Unitarian Church. I know seven guys who have already e-mailed about this microwave."