I am moving and sadly cannot take these chairs.
You say you are sad, but you are moving because you want to get away from these chairs. These chairs are destroying you. They have held you hostage for years, threatening your family with their aggressive, visceral ugliness. Your entire post suggests Stockhom Syndrome, but don’t worry, we’ll get you through this.
There are 4 of them.
This is worse than I thought. I’ve contacted the authorities. Your neighborhood is being evacuated right now. Take your birth certificate and passport, leave everything else behind. Leave the back door unlocked.
They are grey mohair.
That almost sounds respectable, doesn’t it? Mohair. Get out of the house, now.
We appreciate the warning. This is an ugly that may be difficult to contain. Homeland Security is cordoning off all of
The catch. They are very dirty.
This calls for Plan D-sub-4. CENTCOM has already decided. We are nuking
These are very high quality chairs.
We've called in principals of the intelligence community. Your sentence confirms their findings. They located the bill of lading from the arms dealer who first brokered the sale of the chairs. They are weapons-grade chairs of the deadliest order.
But I used them in my work space with dogs. So they have a lot of sand and dog hair on them. But nothing a good steam cleaning wouldn't cure.
We asked the NSA about the steam cleaning option. After consultations with the White House, it was rejected in favor of a bomb.