Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Food in a bag

"Free bag of various canned and dry goods in a paper Andronico's bag by the street on west st. near Bancroft. Out by a light post, halfway down the block. A few things are opened/slightly used, but I promise it's not contaminated! Just drive or walk by and pick it up."

If EVER there were a free post on CL that required commemoration, it's this one.

Free food is not that rare on CL. People give away baby formula, avocados growing in their yard, hell, I once even saw someone advertise, with a picture, a bag of frozen food that was due to expire that very day. That post made me laugh. I'm not sure how this one makes me feel.

The most obvious jaw-droppery comes from the "not only am I putting food on the street, but it is 'opened/slightly used'" portion. Um, WTF is slightly used food?! Never made it past the glottis? Please don't answer. I'll presume you mean "partially eaten." My WTF stands. You really think someone you might reach on Craigslist, i.e., who has access to a computer, wants your half-eaten box of Triscuits?

The more subtle brazenness of the post is found in the "I promise it's not contaminated," proclamation, coupled with the "I have anonymously placed it on a street corner" strategy to make it impossible to confirm its origins. If you want to give me your unfinished burrito, at least personally hand it to me so I know which house to burn down when I find out I have hepatitis.*

All this aside, what about the unopened stuff? Are the cans bloated with Clostridium botulinum? Are we years past the expiration date? Pardon my suspicion, but why have you decided this food is too dangerous for your pantry?

*Of course, I will eventually realize I have no one but myself to blame, but in those initial post-diagnosis moments, anything is possible.

1 comment:

Levi said...

This is my new favorite blog. I hope it doesn't join the rapidly growing Dustbin of Abandoned Blogs.