Dresser

There is a bottleneck right now between my brain and my fingers. I am sweating - so many things to say about this dresser.

Its condition can't possibly be explained as standard wear-and-tear, can it? I mean, presuming it's under 800 years old. It would take at least 100 years of active beatings to make a piece of furniture look this way. Was it locked in a cell with an angry psychotic? Used by a fire department in drills at the academy? Dropped off a high school roof semester after semester by a physics teacher trying to drive home some point about gravity, while simultaneously working out his frustrations that his applications to the local community college keep suffering rejection?

In any event, this is not a dresser. It is, at this point, no more than kindling.

Finally, and don't be coy here - it's haunted, right?