Monday, March 31, 2008


“We have an old mimeograph machine, model 8250 from Standard.
It powers up, but hasn't been used in years.
Take it away.”

Argument in Favor of Free Mimeograph Machine:

Much like the smell of madeleines for Proust, the odor of the mimeograph will awaken my own mémoire involontaire, which will then become the basis of my epic autobiography. I will call it A Remembrance of Things Thermofaxed, or, In Search of Lost Aniline.

Rebuttal to Argument:

You’re thinking of a spirit duplicator (or ditto machine), whose alcohol-fueled pigment transfer process had a distinctive smell. The mimeograph’s wax-stencil–and–ink technology did not have a particularly distinguishable scent.

Argument in Favor:

I live in a developing nation, where electricity is not widely available, making mimeograph technology more practical than photocopying, as it does not rely on electricity.

Rebuttal to Argument:

This particular machine, which “powers up” (and has a power cord visible in the picture), will apparently do you no good.

Argument in Favor:

I believe obsolete duplication technology to be the next big thing in hipster accessorizing, much like vinyl records and fixed-gear bicycles. I plan to give this mimeograph a place of prominence between my dot-matrix printer and my steam-powered printing press.

Rebuttal to Argument:

Then, by all means, take it away.


Guest authored by J-Ben, who is sophisticated in ways I will never approach.

1 comment:

scout. said...

I want to somehow become the third party in your couplehood, just to spend more time around you both.No funny business.