Mimeograph

“We have an old mimeograph machine, model 8250 from Standard.
It powers up, but hasn't been used in years.
Take it away.”

Argument in Favor of Free Mimeograph Machine:

Much like the smell of madeleines for Proust, the odor of the mimeograph will awaken my own mémoire involontaire, which will then become the basis of my epic autobiography. I will call it A Remembrance of Things Thermofaxed, or, In Search of Lost Aniline.

Rebuttal to Argument:

You’re thinking of a spirit duplicator (or ditto machine), whose alcohol-fueled pigment transfer process had a distinctive smell. The mimeograph’s wax-stencil–and–ink technology did not have a particularly distinguishable scent.

Argument in Favor:

I live in a developing nation, where electricity is not widely available, making mimeograph technology more practical than photocopying, as it does not rely on electricity.

Rebuttal to Argument:

This particular machine, which “powers up” (and has a power cord visible in the picture), will apparently do you no good.

Argument in Favor:

I believe obsolete duplication technology to be the next big thing in hipster accessorizing, much like vinyl records and fixed-gear bicycles. I plan to give this mimeograph a place of prominence between my dot-matrix printer and my steam-powered printing press.

Rebuttal to Argument:

Then, by all means, take it away.

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Guest authored by J-Ben, who is sophisticated in ways I will never approach.