Tuesday, May 20, 2008


"After cleaning out my desk drawers, I found about 50 coins from countries that are now on the Euro. (France, Italy, Spain, Netherlands). These coins are worthless as currency, but perhaps they would be of use to a belly dancer making a coin bra."

Sure, he could have just posted free worthless coins. I probably wouldn't have commented on that. But he had to go on to suggest a use for those coins, and my mind was blown. Of all the things I might imagine doing with a collection of free coins, making a "coin bra" for a bellydancer is approximately 1,578,770 on the list, after the following:

45 - give to panhandlers who talk on cellphones,* in empty act of largesse

2,286 - sneak into funeral homes, place over the eyes of the dead

10,034 - teach neighborhood squirrels to juggle

196,006 - If there are multiples, play "Concentration" with the faces of deceased political figures in France, Italy, Spain, Netherlands

502, 599 - Create own nation, called Fritsperland; make these fifty coins the national currency; severely restrict immigration

1,578,768 - build five columns of 10 coins each, call it Coinhenge

1,578,771 - Spend 4 years walking through Europe, testing vending machines to see if they will still accept these coins.

*Is this a common phenomenon? There are two local panhandlers who are often on cellphones, which I find pretty brazen. Perhaps I'm just old fashioned, but I want my panhandler to at least give an impression that s/he needs money to survive, not to have the accoutrements of today's active lifestyles. I don't have a cellphone.

1 comment:

alchemisty said...

uncanny timing. i just found a bag of useless european coins in my bra drawer the other day. perhaps i thought it could be used as a brassiere form, you know, to keep the cups in the correct shape while the garments wait to be worn. the main dilemma each night would be: which cup gets shaped tonight?

it's more likely that i stuffed it in there when i moved, and then forgot.

anyway. you want it?