Bidet

This is one of those giveaways whose inherent flaws become apparent with a little context.

Let's say I own a home.

Let's say I have the financial wherewithal to remodel my bathroom dramatically, so that space is made for an additional appliance, and plumbing is rerouted and modified to accommodate it.

Let's say I'm the kind of person who is so obsessed with French mores that I answer the phone with "bonjour," and spend at least a week every year in the same rental in the Marais.

Let us, finally, say I am so equally obsessed with genital cleanliness that a bidet is on my list of absolute-must-haves as I undertake the radical bathroom reconstruction I've undertaken.

In short, I am a hardcore bidet partisan, not a casual bidet hobbyist. There is no such thing as a casual bidet hobbyist. I sing songs about bidets - "oh bidet, the skies were grey, but now you're here to stay, and I'm so happaayyy . . ." I coined a phrase - "Once you go bidet, you never go away.*" I f*cking LOVE bidets. My bathroom remodel is the greatest moment of my life, and I am overpaying the contractor by a factor of 3 to get it done one day earlier.

Given these conditions, is this the bidet I'm going to choose for the project?


* if people look at me puzzled, I will occasionally add ". . . from the bidet."