“Huge Free Children's Playhouse. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL ME IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO A CRANE TO LIFT THIS OVER THE BRICK WALL. If you can haul it away, you can have it!! Just needs a little TLC!!”
Another Free Stuff poster chasing a particularly unachievable dream. “Access to a crane”? Come on. I doubt I could even come up with access to an engine hoist, much less a CRANE. Impossibility aside, imagine the tricked-out playhouse one could commission with the money it would take to get a crane, plus the knowledgeable person (or persons), permits, and insurance required to operate one.
And given the recent spate of disasters, we here at Vintage Microwave believe America to be standing on the precipice of a national War on Cranes. With that in mind, we find it unlikely that anyone could walk into their local crane-rental office looking to “relocate a playhouse” without finding themselves on the terrorist watch list.