Custom designed handmade coffee table

It's about time something artisanal and unique should arrive on the Free Stuff section. Something created by the hand of someone touched by greatness - there's no other way to say it. Someone who, moved by a desire to make the world that tiny bit better, is willing to simply give away his masterful handiwork. A Custom. Designed. Handmade. Coffee table.

"No remuneration necessary. Your undisguisable gratitude is more than payment enough. I know . . . I'm welling up, too. You're right, this is a great moment demonstrating man's humanity to man. Perhaps the harmonic convergence is finally taking place."

"It is custom. One of a very special kind. I designed it, using not only CAD tools, but also skills passed down through many generations of my family. An accumulated knowledge of craft and beauty spanning hundreds of years. Of course, it's handmade. I suspect no other hands could have delivered so great a gift. In my less modest moments, I consider myself midwife to the muses. Here, take it: