Antique Couch

“I got this couch off craigslist, thinking I was going to get it redone, and never had the time. It was left out in the weather for sometime before I got it......"

This post comes from Austin Craigslist, and judging by the pictures, “was left out in the weather for sometime [sic]” must mean at least one, if not all, of the following:

…was used as part of the armadillo enclosure at the Austin Zoo since its founding in 1990.

…was tragically caught in the crossfire of the Charles Whitman tower shootings at the University of Texas, and subsequently moved into a particularly unsavory frat house.

…was severely damaged during the Colorado River flood of 1900, as well as exposed to every other rainstorm in the ensuing 108 years.

…was inside the General Land Office Building during the Texas Archive War of 1842 where it took a cannon blast at close range, then laid low until 1987 when it was moved to the backyard of Stubbs BBQ to act as an ashtray. It currently holds the title of Most Gruesomely Deteriorated Inanimate Object in Austin, followed distantly by Willie Nelson’s guitar and Matthew McConaughey’s brain.