Old Chair

We considered posting a picture or two of something mummified to compare this too, but the pictures of mummies were a little grosser than we like to be. This chair is all the gross we can handle.


Beware its curse: "As for all men who shall sit here . . . there will be judgment . . . an end shall be made for him . . . I shall seize his neck like a bird . . . I shall cast the fear of myself into him."

Consider it done. We're already afraid.

Chair

This is one of those free postings that make me appreciate the place of the philosopher in modern society. I'm pretty sure a dissertation - a master's thesis at the very least - could be written on whether and under what conditions this item can be called a chair. Maybe something like, with hat tip to Zizek, "this Deleuzian chair is, of course, not simply outside non-chairness; rather, in the 'stratigraphic' superimposition, in this moment of chairfulness, it is CHAIR ITSELF which we experience, but in contrast, chair as opposed to the evolutionary flow of things WITHIN the chair domain." I'm not sure what that means, but I think it's something like "there's no effing way this counts as a chair."

Cabover Camper

Honey, let's go camping! By "camping," I mean admitting that we have failed in every possible way, and that we deserve only the worst of everything.

MODULAR MOBILE OFFICE TRAILER

"FREE TO A GOOD HOME!!!! "










The only possible use for this would be playing the role of the field office in Blair Witch 3: The Blair Witch Construction Project. In this installment, the Blair Witch continues to terrorize the Maryland wilderness, this time through the erection of depressing subdivisions.

Patio Chair

Imagine stepping out of the pool and letting your eyes come to rest on this. "I can stand here, or I can sit on that and be uncomfortable, dirty, and - maybe, just maybe - infected." Tough decision . . .

Orange Couch

This looks like a picture taken in the living room of an apartment occupied by the family of the Director of North Korea's Central Statistics Bureau.

Breakfast

"Times are tough. I don't have much money to offer but I can cook you a nice English breakfast."


We've seen this free meal thing before. I am again struck by the astonishingly uncomfortable social situation this will inevitably create. "Yeah, I'm here for the breakfast. I've got to get home soon, though. Can I take it to go?" "Why in such a hurry, have a seat! Can I get you some coffee."

This poster is either profoundly lonely, or a kidnapper-to-be.

But kudos on taking a picture of breakfast, just to try to sell your charitable act that little bit better.

Chair

"Please take the chair"



We would be doing you a favor wouldn't we? What will your next posts request? "Please take the chilly draft that comes in through the bedroom window." "Please take the crippling student loan debt." "Please take the emotional scars my mother left on my tender psyche as a child." "Please take the recently diagnosed terminal illness." Anything else we can take on for you? We all have our crosses to bear. Yours is apparently that chair. Nut up.

Clown Collectable

"Plays 'When the Saints Come Marching In.'"


I'm not sure this package is complete without a $4 bottle of no-name wine and a pillow to lay your head on while you cry yourself to sleep.