Boat

"Perfect for boat races!"

Obviously, this will need a part or two (or 334) before it's perfect for anything, but that aside, what about this semi-boat makes it seem especially race-worthy? If anything, it looks like a pretty non-hydrodynamic example of boatdom. Why is it any more perfect for a boat race than, say, this motorcycle frame is for motorcycle races?



Or this trashcan is for trashcan races?

Dead Horse

"This is a skeleton of a horse I found in the desert. I brought it home for an accent to my cactus garden. We are moving and I cannot take the horse with me. It is missing the head and two legs, but all else is there.Use it for the same purpose as I did, or for an art project..."


An art project, huh? No comment, I don't want to . . . beat a dead horse. Hey-OHH!!!

Antique Mantle

"In my old home, I put it against a wall and put candles all around underneath it to simulate a fireplace - was very lovely."

Thanks for the suggestion, but if it weren't for ideas like that, perhaps you'd still be living in your "old home," and this would still be the "mantle" you claim it is, rather than a charred piece of trash.

DOGBED/LOVE SEAT COUCH

"IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PIECE OF FURNITURE THAT YOU THINK YOUR DOG WILL LOVE AS A BED THIS WILL WORK GREAT."



Interesting angle, but my dog doesn't really need a loveseat to sleep on. He sleeps in his loft bed, which frees up space in his bedroom for his desk and his Playstation 3.

Very Old Backyard Chairs

"No good for sitting, may be good for background, props for picture or movie set."




Chairs. "No good for sitting." These chairs are adrift, lost, unable to satisfy the most basic element of chair-ness. Chairs like this don't last long. Once they lose sit-ability, they lose interest in life, and die soon thereafter.

Please give these chairs something to do so they can hold on a little longer. Something to give their days meaning. Something like . . . put them in a movie. That sounds good. You do have a movie in production don't you?

Unfinished Rowboat

Rowboat? It looks as though someone took a long rainsoaked skateboard ramp, tore the plywood apart, and haphazardly hammered it back together. "Rowboat" is a randomly chosen noun to describe it. "Unfinished treehouse" would also have worked. Or maybe "display case in progress." How about "nearly firewood"?

But really, the first thing I thought of was the Simpson's episode when Homer becomes, for a brief moment, a darling of the Art World. At a show he presents this work:



"Attempted Birdhouse"

Dishwasher

"Hotpoint Dishwasher, pulled out of 1953 kitchen, still in working order. Could be used in a museum display or theatre set?!"


Now don't get me wrong, this is kind of neat. I've never seen an early generation dishwasher like this before. But what can you do with it, really? It probably does a terrible job at its assigned task, and must have an Energy Star rating that approaches Energy Deathstar status.

So the poster is probably right, this is for museum or prop use. But what are the odds the proprietor of the Bay Area Museum of Household Appliances* will see this post? Or that David Mamet's latest script calls for a foul-mouthed, fast-talking dishwasher, circa '53? Ultimately, niftyness aside, there's no creative reuse in this washer's future.


*Nope, sorry, no such beast.

VCR

"Eats tapes. Other uses?"






Well, sure, there are plenty of other uses for a VCR that can't be used the way god intended! Here are a few.

(1) Place on top of garbage can to keep lid from falling off.
(2) Place at corner of beach blanket to keep from flying away.
(3) Place at bottom of door to keep from opening.
(4) Place below car's wheel to keep from rolling away.

That's right, why use a rock, when you can use this VCR? It's just as gray and heavy, and every bit as effective. For all your would-be rock uses, try this instead. You can't spell "very convenient rock substitute" without VCR.

Kids Shoes

"Kids shoes (NOT pairs) for crafts. I have about 100 new children's shoes - not in pairs. Great for arts projects like decoration Xmas tree or a playground or for learning purposes."


-You know, for crafts. "Like decoration Xmas tree." I use shoes for all my ornaments. They help emphasize the poignant shoe-y-ness of Xmas. The baby Jesus could have worn these. Did they have laces 2k years ago? Stop asking questions, and gaze upon the manifold children's shoes of Xmas.

-Don't celebrate Xmas? You're one of them? No problem. These are also great for "a playground." Perhaps you can replace the sand in the sandbox with 100 children's shoes. The kids can make shoe castles. Watch out they don't get shoe in their eyes.

- Finally, if the injuries resulting from kids throwing shoes at each other limit the viability of the playground option, try "learning purposes." I have the teacher's manual right here: This is a shoe. This is two shoes. This is three shoes . . .

Industrial weaving cones

"Many plastic 12" x 2" tapered cones from industrial weaving. Good for art project, Halloween costume... ???

Pick up M-F 9-5. They are heavy so you will need a vehicle."

Possible Halloween costumes to make out of industrial weaving cones:

• Industrial loom
• Haunted industrial loom
• Slutty industrial loom