couch

"I just want to get rid of it."

Did your couch take that picture of itself with your webcam? Because it looks like a sex offender's avatar from Instant Messenger.

LuvSeat69: wutup a/s/l

MileyPieCrust510: 13f/cali lol
LuvSeat69: u like 2 get nasty =)?

MileyPieCrust510: omg idk!

MileyPieCrust510: maybe lol. u?

LuvSeat69: u kno it.
LuvSeat69: ur really sexy. can we meet up?

MileyPieCrust510: what 4?

LuvSeat69: i want u 2 sit on my lap

MileyPieCrust510: lol that it?

LuvSeat69: wanna see a pic of my fold-out bed?

MileyPieCrust510: ummmm

LuvSeat69: hang on.......
MileyPieCrust510: omg its huge

LuvSeat69: weighs 150 pounds lol

It's going to be really uncomfortable for everyone involved when Chris Hansen gets his hands on this.