Monday, August 11, 2008

Hot Tub

We've talked about hot tubs before, but they continue to appear at such a dramatic rate, that more commentary seems appropriate.

First, have a look at this one. You know the phrase "you like sausage, but you don't want to see it being made"? Well, that's what this makes me think of. Hot tub? I think pleasantly scalding water and vibrant bubbles. Please don't make me think of pipes, ducts and insulation. It ruins the mood. And hot tubs are all about mood.

More important, when you go on to Free Stuff, there are things you expect to see. Everyone in the U.S. has multiple chairs at home. Everyone has a stove. Everyone has . . . you get the idea. But what don't most people have? A hot tub. To have a hot tub, you need things like a single family home, some disposable income, and a strong fondness for the 70's. It is a relative rarity (I know one couple who has one). So you'd expect the ratio of chair to hot tub to be 2000 to 1. But it really isn't. Unscientifically, I'd say 50 to 1. People are desperate to unload hot tubs.

Given the rarity and given the effort it takes to get a hot tub in the first place, you would think they would be cherished by their owners. Prized possessions. Heirlooms, even. But given how many hot tubs are being given away every single day, they must be some sort of terrible white elephant. Children must be drowning in them, or they must put utility bills into four figures, or the neighbors must break in, forcing you to kick them out once a week. Something is terribly wrong with hot tubs. Beware of hot tubs. The Free Stuff section has warned you.

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