You would think that free stuff wouldn't have to be "sold." It shouldn't take a marketing campaign to give something away. But Vintage Microwave is built on the premise than there are things undesirable at even the low, low price point of free. So people may just have things gruesome enough that they have to use verbal sleight-of-hand to try to unload them.
Accordingly, there is a lexicon to free stuff "take-it-away" persuasion. In this way, it's like real estate. In that realm, a tiny apartment is "cozy." If there's a strip mall across the street, it's "central to everything."
In the Free Stuff section, as we've seen, something may be good for an "art project" or suitable for "Burning Man." But if a piece of free seating is really ugly, eye-piercingly unpleasant, unlookable-at, you can be pretty sure it will be described as "comfortable." You see, they're trying to get you to think with your ass, instead of your eyes. Because your eyes are having none of it.
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