Laptop

FREE LAPTOP FOR "SOMEONE IN NEED" OR "STUDENT" ONLY

Cool, I'm (1) "in need" of a laptop and (2) a "student" of the world. I qualify - hook me up!

This is a dell laptop with external hard drive. It has 128 MB of Ram..It is in excellent condition....You will need to get a wireless card for it to get onto the internet. I had AOL downloaded on it and was able to access that as well as the internet.

128 mb! Awesome! I should be able to run a lot of sophisticated software, like "calculator" and "Free Cell." It will be compatible with no existing printer, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. Word processing will probably require a minute per character, and excel will require the patience of an autistic child's parent, but like I said, awesome! One Two Eight! One Two Eight! w00t!

And excellent condition, cool! It's surprising that a 20 lb. laptop from the early 90's would have avoided being dropped so many times that it would end up in poor condition, but the exception proves the rule, right! Let's calculaaate!

I AM NOT GIVING THIS AWAY TO THE FIRST PERSON THAT CONTACTS ME.....IN ORDER TO GET THIS LAPTOP.......

Oh shit, which caller do I have to be to win this giant paperweight? I'm willing to take it off your hands for the Free Cell and all, but I have to do something?

YOU MUST WRITE ME A PARAGRAPH OF WHY YOU NEED THIS LAPTOP. ARE YOU DOWN ON YOUR LUCK? DO YOU KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO JUST LOST THERE JOB AND NEEDS A LAPTOP TO HELP FIND THEM A JOB? IF I CHOOSE YOU......YOU MUST PICK IT UP.....

You have to be out of your ancient-computer-owning mind. You want me to convince you to give me your adding machine? Again, I'll take it, as a favor to you, to lighten your load, but I'm not going to . . . you know what? In fact, fuck you, YOU write ME a paragraph explaining why I should take it for less than a $10 disposal fee. Start writing.

I COULD EASILY MAKE A FEW BUCKS WITH THIS COMPUTER BUT I WOULD RATHER HAVE IT GO TO SOMEONE "WHO REALLY NEEDS IT".

No, no you couldn't. You could bring it to the electronics recycling facility, and give them the fee mentioned above. You could easily lose a few bucks with the computer. Or you could just give it away, without batshit crazy conditions. Instead, it will weigh down your home's foundation for eternity.

ALL I ASK IN RETURN? "PAY IT FORWARD TO SOMEONE ELSE".

You mean, like, by punching a stranger in the gut? Sorry, the buck stops here. "Pay it forward" yourself.